Chad, I have an 09 LNF so I don't think I have that same harness that LSJs do? At least I couldn't find it. I'll continue to look for a similar plug, though.
I'm going to have to get my wife to help me look at spark plugs while I crank it, it's sorta hard to do by myself.
Fuel pump works, I jumped the fuse to prime it before cranking (I primed it a lot, thought that I originally may have over-primed it, but IDK)
Cluster lights up, no issues or concerning DTC's showing up (expected evap and similar only)
It basically sounds like a huge air pump. I've read a lot about this and a lot of suggestions point toward timing chain being broken or done incorrectly. I did the Cloyes set for both sets and followed the directions. It was fairly straight forward and everything was done per the instructions. I don't suspect that to be the issue but who knows. I'm going to pull the valve cover tonight and check the timing chain.
My wife took a video but she's out right now so I don't have access to her phone. Just imagine a car turning over, no fire so no pops/bangs.... just cranking.
I've checked all my fuses but will run through them again. I recently had some trouble with my black multiplug (it's stuck in the fuse box and will not come out, the bolt's stripped) so I'm wondering if that's playing a role in it. I also may have damaged some relays in the process of trying to get it out... so I'll check that too.